Thursday, June 23, 2011

Losing my way or just being the real me?

I haven't blogged because I have fallen off the wagon so to speak.

I am far from perfect and who wants to blog about their "failures" or weaknesses?

My 6 weeks no sugar, no wheat, no dairy, no alcohol, no processed foods has not completely fallen by the wayside, but I am not as diligent as I was in the beginning. I am cheating frequently, daily.

Not sure if it's because it's getting old or I am just getting lazy. Deep down I think it has something to do with not feeling worthy enough to succeed. And I think I could throw some fear of failure in there too.

If I stay out of my head and just go back to the task of reading my 3 x 5 cards and reading the book again (I stopped when it got to the part about being active. Not possible recovering from 2 surgeries in the last 4 weeks). I just might make it to the next milestone 145 #.

In my own defense I have not completely blown it. I do good 75% of the time. I am staying steady at 149 #. I am wearing my size 10's comfortably and the 12's are starting to swim on me.

There is a lot of talk lately about stories. The stories we tell ourselves about our past. These stories shape our attitudes and how we perceive ourselves.

I could tell myself I am a failure because I didn't to do it perfectly and I could just give up on the whole thing altogether, why bother............. oh poor me..........

Or I could write a new story. I am doing amazingly well considering I had 2 surgeries in 2 weeks. I can't exercise or even walk for any length of time. And I have lost 6 pounds!

Maybe my journey is not as perfect as I would like it to be, maybe I could be better. Maybe I am expecting too much from myself and my good is good enough, for now : ).

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


Whoo-hoo! I am officially in the 140's. I can't remember the last time I have been here. It's been at least a year probably two!

I feel so much lighter physically and emotionally! I still have a ways to go, 10-15 lbs,  but being in this direction vs the other one I have been in the last 2-3 years feels a 1,000 times better.

My "no sugar, wheat, dairy or processed foods" diet is working! (I have cheated a few times)

My 5+ pound weight loss in 2 weeks is without exercise too. I am really looking forward to when I can be active again.

And the best part is I am not really hungry. My body seems to do really well without all the allergen causing foods.

Surgery #2 is tomorrow. I am finally getting a very pesky neuroma removed. I figure I might as well since I am off work for 6 weeks and I can't be active. And then when I am all recovered I can really get back to doing the things I love!