Thursday, June 23, 2011

Losing my way or just being the real me?

I haven't blogged because I have fallen off the wagon so to speak.

I am far from perfect and who wants to blog about their "failures" or weaknesses?

My 6 weeks no sugar, no wheat, no dairy, no alcohol, no processed foods has not completely fallen by the wayside, but I am not as diligent as I was in the beginning. I am cheating frequently, daily.

Not sure if it's because it's getting old or I am just getting lazy. Deep down I think it has something to do with not feeling worthy enough to succeed. And I think I could throw some fear of failure in there too.

If I stay out of my head and just go back to the task of reading my 3 x 5 cards and reading the book again (I stopped when it got to the part about being active. Not possible recovering from 2 surgeries in the last 4 weeks). I just might make it to the next milestone 145 #.

In my own defense I have not completely blown it. I do good 75% of the time. I am staying steady at 149 #. I am wearing my size 10's comfortably and the 12's are starting to swim on me.

There is a lot of talk lately about stories. The stories we tell ourselves about our past. These stories shape our attitudes and how we perceive ourselves.

I could tell myself I am a failure because I didn't to do it perfectly and I could just give up on the whole thing altogether, why bother............. oh poor me..........

Or I could write a new story. I am doing amazingly well considering I had 2 surgeries in 2 weeks. I can't exercise or even walk for any length of time. And I have lost 6 pounds!

Maybe my journey is not as perfect as I would like it to be, maybe I could be better. Maybe I am expecting too much from myself and my good is good enough, for now : ).

1 comment:

  1. As a long time blogger and reader of blogs, people like hearing about trials and tribulations. We will be here to support you during your "failures" and "weaknesses". Lord knows I have had mine!
    Six weeks is a long time to commit and you are trying to give up A LOT of stuff at once! What about 30 days and maybe one or two things at a time? Just a suggestion. ;)